THE PINNACLE PERSPECTIVE!

"Helping You to Reach Your Personal Pinnacle of Success"

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Copyright UnCommon Courtesy & Coaching - Issue 40

FOR YOUR READING ENJOYMENT AND FUTURE SUCCESS

1. A Personal Growth Exercise... Who is that in the Mirror?

2. Motivational/Courtesy Tips & Quotes

3. Life is good! Inspirational poems and stories

4. Inspirational reading material

5. Can You Help?

6. What’s new at UnCommon Courtesy & Coaching

7. Feature Article: THE GREATEST SECRET OF SUCCESS

by John J.O'Callaghan

8. Sensational Ezines and Opportunities

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This FREE publication is being sent to you once a week at your request. We

do not make our subscriber list available to anyone.

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A PERSONAL GROWTH EXERCISE: Who is that in the Mirror?

Sometimes a question that is sent to me is just too good not to pass along to

everyone! Here’s a recent question that was sent to me at

Dear Susan,

We have a High School Basketball Coach who is excellent at teaching the kids

the skills necessary to be competitive. They respect his knowledge of the

game. During games he is so intense that he hollers at specific players and

it makes the parents and spectators very uncomfortable. I believe that there

are better ways than hollering at kids to make them understand. Is there any

information out there that would support my theory and how do we get a

coach, who otherwise is good, to see our point, with out offending him?

Thank You for any input.

Here is my response:

Hi,

Well, there are lots of parenting books and books for teachers that talk

about the power of using positive learning and discipline strategies with

kids, but . . . My experience as a therapist is that many people who hold

positions of power, such as a coach, a manager, or any type of professional,

can rationalize just about any practice that they routinely engage in as

being helpful in some way. This type of problem is often responded to in the

wrong manner. A group of people with less power (e.g., parents, employees,

etc.) than the offending individual will approach that person with a "now

see here . . . you must change your behavior" lecture.

I'm here to tell you that will not work. There will be such a defensive

response that the individual cannot hear the message.

I think that people often times do not realize how they impact others. Many

adults have little insight into how the combination of their anger and the

power that they hold can impact children. Managers or coaches often fail to

grasp how their decision to treat one person in a punitive manner will hurt

the whole organization or team. One of my favorite strategies for helping

people understand how they come across to others is to videotape them. A

videotape of the offending behavior forces the individual to see his or her

actions through the eyes of others.

My suggestion would be to casually videotape the games (just like any proud

parent would), and make sure that the tape is zoomed in and rolling when the

next one of the coach's suggestions/lectures/tirades (call them what you

will) occurs. Then, have a parent that he respects sit down with him and

say, "You are a very good coach. We think that you are doing a great job

with your kids. It's just that there are a few of us who think that you

might not understand how you impact the kids when you yell. Yes, it may

embarrass him. It may shock him. He may say that there is absolutely

nothing wrong with his behavior. However, if he is anything like most of my

clients, it may cause him to tone it down a few notches in the future.

Do you have a good suggestion for this subscriber? Please pass along your

great ideas to me at susan@uncommoncourtesy.com . I’ll include them (and

credit if you wish) on our new feedback page:

Warmest regards,

Susan

Suggested reading to accompany this exercise: Co-Active Coaching : New

Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life

by Laura Whitworth

Check out subscriber feedback to our last Personal Growth Exercise at:

Please send your questions for "Ask Dr. Rempel" to

susan@uncommoncourtesy.com.

Copyright © 2001 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D.

Read other motivational articles written by Dr. Rempel at

http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com/newsletterarticle.htm.

This article may be reprinted with the following copyright notice &

attachment:

Copyright © 2001 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D.

Get motivated! Be successful and live life to the fullest with UnCommon

Courtesy & Coaching’s FREE motivational newsletter & quote service!

Subscribe to our newsletter at: ucc-newsletter-subscribe@yahoogroups.com .

Learn more about more than 50 inspirational quotation lists at:

http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com/motivati2.htm. Check out the 5000+

motivational books in our bookstore at http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com.

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MOTIVATIONAL TIPS AND QUOTES!

"Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his

calling, never fails of employment in it." --Thomas Jefferson

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny

can be handled at a time." --Winston Churchill

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." --Albert Einstein

If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is the man who has so much as to

be out of danger?" --Thomas Huxley

"I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the

recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but should get you pretty

near." --Margaret Thatcher

Help motivate others! Send your favorite quotes to:

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LIFE IS GOOD!

Poems, stories, and other contributions from our subscribers.

MINUTES OF GOLD

Two or three minutes ~ two or three hours,

what do they mean in this life of ours?

Not very much if but counted as time,

but minutes of gold and hours sublime,

if only we'll use them once in a while

to make someone happy ~ make someone smile.

A minute may dry a little lad's tears,

an hour sweep aside trouble of years.

Minutes of my time may bring to an end

hopelessness somewhere, and bring me a friend.

-Author Unknown

Please send inspirational poems and stories to

mailto:susan@uncommoncourtesy.com!

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INSPIRATIONAL READING MATERIAL:

The Best Is Yet to Come

by Ann Platz

by Tony Conza Success, It's a Beautiful Thing : Lessons on Life and Business

From the Founder of Blimpie International

How to Become a Rainmaker: The Rules for Getting and Keeping Customers and

Clients

by Jeffrey J. Fox

Lessons from the Sandbox : Using the 13 Gifts of Childhood to Rediscover the

Keys to Business Success

by Alan, Dr Gregerman

The Clarity Factor : The Four Secrets to Being Clearly Understood

by Raymond Dizazzo

The 100 Absolutely Unbreakable Laws of Business Success

by Brian Tracy, Stephen Tracy (Reader)

We now proudly carry more than 5000 books and audiotapes.

Visit the bookstore today at http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com/bookstore.htm

If you have any favorite titles that you think others would benefit from

reading, Please send us your comments (comments@uncommoncourtesy.com).

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WHAT’S NEW AT UNCOMMON COURTESY & COACHING?

Spring is here! And this season we have a new and improved ‘Spring Fling Center’. We have added fantastic products from our new affiliate, MarthaStewart.com. There is a gardening section, a ‘gifts for them’ and a ‘gifts for you’ section. You can also order a personalized motivational letter from the Easter Bunny!

So hop on over to http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com/spring.htm today!

Don’t forget: you can get more than 50 great quotes each week by sending an

Remember: Please use the links from our bookstore at

http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com/bookstore.htm to link to Amazon.com when

you make your next book purchase, so that we can continue to send you this

free motivational newsletter!

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OUR FEATURE ARTICLE:

THE GREATEST SECRET OF SUCCESS

by John J.O'Callaghan

In order to reduce the size of this newsletter, we have placed this article

on our site at www.uncommoncourtesy.com/current1.htm.

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One final housekeeping note: While we make an effort to check out every

advertisement and turn down unqualified ads, we cannot assume responsibility

for the actions of our advertisers.

Until next time, stay motivated and live life to the fullest!

Copyright © 2001 UnCommon Courtesy & Coaching. All rights reserved.